I'm beginning to understand what Silent Grief really is now and I hate it.
Silent Grief is a society that barely acknowledges the grief of a mother of a stillborn baby or baby that dies a few months afterwards and gives no knowledge at all of the pain and horror of miscarriage instead shrugs it off as an everyday occurrence.
Silent Grief is hearing your doctor talk to you about your rainbow baby as a "mass of cells" and that this terrible experience is a normal, routine thing that happens to a lot of people.
Silent Grief is remembering when your stillborn baby died and having tons of cards and flowers brought over and for a hidden miscarried baby very few people do anything.
Silent Grief is realizing that the extra wall quilt square you had saved for your rainbow babies handprints will always remain empty.
Silent Grief is having no pictures, no hand and foot molds, no blanket or clothes your baby wore, nothing to remind you of that baby but a pregnancy test.
Silent Grief is having to cry late at night or early in the morning so your children won't hear you because they don't even understand that a baby was loss.
Silent Grief is feeling guilty that you consider your baby a baby at 10 weeks into pregnancy while others don't understand that.
Silent Grief is seeing the world keep moving on not aknowledging that a tragedy has occurred.
Silent Grief is dreading getting up in the morning and forcing yourself to get something done while pretending nothing out of the ordinary has occurred.
Silent Grief is laying in bed for hour after hour staring and talking to a tree outside your window because you miss talking to your pregnant belly.
Silent Grief is packing away the pregnancy clothes once again even though you only got to wear them for a couple of days.
Silent Grief is feeling like your life is a constant rainstorm and that the sun will never shine again.
Silent Grief is spending the week before your birthday that was suppose to be spent doing fun things to celebrate instead be spent in pain and suffering both physically and emotionally and trying to convince yourself to go buy another big pinwheel to represent your other angel baby.
Silent Grief is crying as you request angel baby name items for another of your angel babies.
Silent Grief is wondering how you are suppose to answer the question of how many children do you have?
Silent Grief is having no answers about miscarriages to your childrens questions.
Silent Grief is having to change the happy ticker on your computer that was counting down how far along you were in your pregnancy to a memorial ticker that now counts down from when your pregnancy ended.
Silent Grief is having to face the beginning of the Grief journey again.
Silent Grief is feeling so very alone in your sorrow for a little life that you never held in your arms, but will forever hold in your heart.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Everything you said is so true. I am so thankful that there are people in the world that understand our silent grief. I am praying for you.
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