Little One--Baby J

With all the stress going on with my Dad's stroke, my Mom has been opening up about some of her pregnancy losses.  I have discovered that she was about 4 months along with her last baby that she loss in 1977.  In those days they didn't let you see the baby they just told you to forget about it and pretend it didn't happen.  Stupid thing to say to someone.  So my sibling who I'm saying is the baby brother I never got has been "forgotten and not remembered" for the past 40 years this year.  That makes me so sad for my Mom who never got the chance to grieve this child and so sad for my brother who has never been spoken of.  I decided to change that this year, especially because it has been 40 years.  I got a remembrance stone for him and placed it behind my angel babies stones.  I've chosen May 31st as his remembrance date because in my family we have 3 girls and he would be the 1 boy.  All I have of him is 1 picture taken when I was 6 years old of my sisters and I and my Mom with her pregnant belly all standing in front of flowers.

Happy 40th Angel Birthday

"Baby J"

You are Loved, Missed, and Remembered

I can't wait to meet you.

My precious lil' Brother 

Gosh, even trying to do my little angel b-day celebrations today has proven to be difficult because my Dad had another stroke and I spent all night and all day at the hospital.  I had to squeeze time in the evening before it got dark to decorate Baby J's remembrance stone, blow bubbles and light a candle.  I was bound determined he was not going to be forgotten one more year.

Decorating Janessa's Grave for Memorial Day

It feels like a big deal to make it out to Janessa's grave anymore.  I hate that we have to squeeze it in to our busy lives now.  I am grateful that we did have a few minutes to get away from all the stress in our lives and just sit at her grave.  I wish there was more time to do that.

Hope's Birthday

Yesterday morning I got the chance to slip outside and watch the sunrise.  I was pleasantly surprised at how calm and peaceful it was and how beautiful the sunrise was.  I couldn't have asked for a a better sunrise.  It was all yellow for hope with heart shaped clouds but they weren't so thick and I also got to see the sun rise above the mountain inches at a time--2 of my favorite sunrise items combined together.  It was perfect and just what I needed after enduring this past week and the past 3 months of constant stress and anxiety.

 Because of time constraints we split Hope's b-day activities into 2 days.  On Sat. we made our sidewalk b-day chalk cards and decorated her remembrance stone and the surrounding flower beds with fairy houses.  On her actual b-day we ate on ladybug plates and cups and had our ladybug b-day cake with rainbow sherbet ice cream.  We lit ladybug candles and lit up the big Hope sign that is still on our fence from Christmas.  It was a nice calm day and relaxing day.