OCTOBER
Grace Angel
Claire 10/01
Meredith Helen 10/03 - 10/06
DeAnn 10/06
Baby Finley 10/10
Justin Ray 10/12
Gage 10/13
William Mullins 10/14-2/14
Emily Grace 10/16-7/24
Lucas 10/18
Juan Jose Selvera Jr. 10/18
Rain Serenity Arizola 10/20
Carter Cooper 10/20
Kaden Leon 10/22
Devon James 10/27
Lee Anne 10/28
Feodora Laurent 10/31
WE ALSO REMEMBER AND RECOGNIZE THIS MONTH
Kerin's 4 Butterfly Babies
Baby J
Raelynn
McNamara Angels (Annabelle, Marie, Angelica, Sarah, Sam, Robert, Davey, Julia, Charity, Jack, Pumpkin)
Hope
Janessa's PinWheels
Janessa's 10th Angel Birthday
Hope's 7th Angel Ticker
Jason's 6th Angel B-day Ticker
Rae Anne 6th b-day Ticker
Our Anniversary
Monday, September 30, 2013
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
Remembering Daniel Barden Sept. 27th
Remembering
Daniel Barden
on his Angel Birthday <3
(Sandy Hook Elementary Angel)
Capture Your Grief 2013
I participated in this last year and found real joy and healing. I don't know that I will participate in it this year. Maybe a couple of the days when I feel I want to share. It won't be through photographs this year for me. I'm too tired and too busy to fully participate this year and part of me feels I'm in a different place this year than I was last year and I don't fully need this as a release this year. I would encourage any of you who haven't done this or are new on your grief journey to participate because it really does bring some healing. Visit http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/2013/09/capture-your-grief-october-2013.html for more information.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
EMDR--Trauma Therapy Update
I found this graphic today and it fits perfect for how I feel today. I have been doing EMDR Therapy almost every week through September. I was skeptical about how it would work. It has been really hard reliving all those traumatic memories of Janessa and Hope's deaths, but, it is fascinating to watch me go from a anxiety stressed-out state of mind to a feeling of calm and peace regarding those very hard memories. The first week I felt this calm and peace that enveloped me like a blanket for the whole week. That was nice. I don't feel that now, but, I do feel a peace and calm in my mind.
Now for the results. My counselor told me to look for little changes as I was faced with trigger items. The first thing I noticed was grocery shopping as I saw pregnant women and women with babies and toddlers my brain saw them and just thought oh it's a pregnant lady or a baby or a toddler--no big deal and then moved on. No anxiety, no stress and trying to look away or get out of same aisle as them, it was just normal and I continued shopping. I've gotten to the point now that my mind doesn't even point them out anymore--I view them as just other people in the grocery store. This was huge for me!!! What a relief to go grocery shopping and not have it be a big deal. The next big thing I've noticed is my reaction at church. I really didn't think it would have that big of an effect that first Sunday, but, it did!!! I was able to face people with babies and talk to them. I sat through a primary song that has big reminders for me of Janessa's graveside service and it didn't bother me and in fact my brain took that song and allowed me to look at it in a different way. For the first time in 3 1/2 years I was able to sing the songs and listen to the talks and look around and not at my feet in Sacrament Meeting and I actually enjoyed the meeting because my brain just registered all of those "trigger" things as just normal.
I could just cry, tears of happiness--I finally have my life back!!! It is so amazing to see the difference this EMDR Therapy has had on my life. I have felt like there was a huge road block stopping me from moving forward on my grief journey and now I feel like that road block is gone. I feel a freedom that I haven't felt in a long time. Before August I felt so hopeless--I felt like I was going to have to endure the rest of my life feeling all this trauma, stress, and anxiety and I didn't know how I was going to do it. Now I feel full of hope, joy, and PEACE!
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
PinWheel Wait list is CLOSED
Pinwheel Requests Are Closed
The Pinwheel Waiting List will open up again after I have completed the 10 angel baby pinwheels on the list.
After much thought I have decided to only allow 10 pinwheel requests at a time. That way I'm not getting overwhelmed by a wait list that continues to grow. I want to be able to take the time to create these pictures in a way that is healing for the baby loss parents and not feel rushed. I also want to be able to continue to be a support to the Baby Loss Parents I have already done pinwheel pictures for by creating the angel b-day blog posts and the annual events. 10 PinWheel Pictures takes me about a month to do. When I have completed the pinwheel requests on my wait list I will open up the Wait List again and announce it here and on my Pinwheels From Heaven Facebook page.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Monday, September 16, 2013
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Remembering Sandy Hook Elementary School--Sept. 14th
Remembering the Angels
of Sandy Hook Elementary
We Will Never Forget!
9 Months
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
This year there will be 20 empty seats at Sandy Hook Elementary as the school year begins--May God bless and comfort their parents.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Remembering Benjamin Wheeler Sept. 12th
Remembering
Benjamin Wheeler
on his Angel Birthday <3
(Sandy Hook Elementary Angel)
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
9-11
Remembering 12 years ago on this date when many innocent people lost their lives because of terrorism. I feel for the Mothers and the Fathers who loss their precious children no matter what age they were. I feel for the survivors who lives were changed forever on this day.
Today I will remember and honor them all as I put flags around the pinwheel garden and light candles in remembrance of them all. Today let's counteract that awful deed by reaching out in an act of kindness for someone else.
Today I will remember and honor them all as I put flags around the pinwheel garden and light candles in remembrance of them all. Today let's counteract that awful deed by reaching out in an act of kindness for someone else.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
My Mission and Goals for PinWheels From Heaven
This morning when I woke up I had 78 likes on my PinWheels from Heaven face book page and now to see 116 is so amazing to me. Thank you for supporting my facebook page. Thank you for supporting this blog. This has been and will always be part of my healing.
This picture describes my goals and mission for PinWheels from Heaven. I have loss 2 angel babies, Janessa & Hope Abigail, whom I miss dearly. I can relate to others and their devastation as they begin this awful grief journey and I wanted a way to reach out and help share my light with you. There are also days when my grief overcomes me and I reach out to find light from others to carry me through. No one is alone on this journey! <3 <3
Monday, September 9, 2013
Remembering Janessa on her 1/2 Birthday
So Miss Janessa for your 3 1/2 year Angel Birthday we included both you and Hope in our Crazy Socks tradition. We had a blast holding onto each other as
we encircled your grave.
We Love You and We Miss You!!!
You will always be in our hearts!!!
I realized as we were decorating her grave yesterday in the rain that Janessa is my age in months--42--that will never happen again. So there are 42 little hearts on her headstone. I'm grateful that it stopped raining for about 15 minutes so that we could decorate her headstone and then enjoy the calm for just a moment.
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