Last Week I decided to put up some 16th birthday signs for Janessa, I had no idea that on that day it was 16 days to Janessa's 16th birthday.
Today, I just feel so sad that her 16th birthday is less than 2 weeks away. It doesn't help that perimenopause has been messing with me physically and mentally--I am a total mess right now. For my living girls, on their 16th birthday I bought them a build a bear that I would dress it either in their blessing dress or just a dress that they wore as a baby. This comes from my own family tradition where my Mom gave me and my sisters home made cabbage patch dolls that were wearing an outfit that we wore as babies.
I wanted to do something like that for Janessa, but, she didn't wear any baby clothes and she is wearing her blessing dress in her coffin. I opted to just get a knitted doll instead, but, it just isn't the same.
I've bought all these "things" in remembrance for her 16th birthday, but, noTHING can ever replace that she is not here to celebrate this milestone birthday with us.
:'(
