It's always been hard for me to decorate Janessa's grave at Christmas, but, this year it was even harder because we stopped and decorated my Dads grave beforehand. I'm so grateful Roland and my kids came with me because I don't think I would have been able to handle it by myself. I was so happy to see that Janessa's grave still had all of her Thanksgiving decorations on it because I was feeling sad that it had taken me this long to go out to the cemetery. I was especially grateful after I realized that I had forgotten a pinwheel and a solar light so I just reused her thanksgiving ones. It was really neat to see that all the snow had melted away except in a spot all around her grave because it is in the shadow of a huge tree.
I really don't like decorating Janessa's grave as a parent and now I really don't like being the daughter and decorating my Dad's grave for Christmas either. I'm so glad that we got one last Christmas with my Dad last year and that I have forever recorded him saying Merry Christmas. It brings me comfort to hear his voice.
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