Happy Angel Birthday
to All Angel Children celebrating
birthdays in the month of October!
YOU ARE LOVED!
YOU ARE MISSED!
YOU ARE REMEMBERED!
Janessa's PinWheels
Janessa's 10th Angel Birthday
Hope's 7th Angel Ticker
Jason's 6th Angel B-day Ticker
Rae Anne 6th b-day Ticker
Our Anniversary
Tuesday, October 1, 2019
Monday, September 9, 2019
10 years--Happy 1/2 B-day Janessa
Sept. 9th, 2019
It has been 6 months since Janessa's b-day and today marks 6 months until her next b-day, which will officially be 10 years since we said hello and goodbye on the same day.
It also marks 10 years since my pregnancy with her. 10 years since we shared our lives together. 10 years since my life was normal and I was just expecting another baby.
10 years is a long time. It is a decade of memories that were lost and never made. It is a decade of grief that I have survived. It is 10 years closer to being with her again, but, 10 years since I held her and carried her and felt her kick and move and communicate via the womb. I like that the harsh realities of grief have softened, but, I hate that my short memories of her are also getting a little fuzzy.
10 years ago I never thought I would survive this long with out her. 10 years ago my life was very different.
I've begun to feel a freezing of my heart as the 6 months to Janessa's 10 year angel b-day begins. It's almost like the first 6 months after I loss her and I didn't really feel or experience anything--I just felt frozen and numb and just did what was necessary to survive and that is kind of what I feel like now. The 10th year angel b-day just seems too much to handle and deal with so my heart is freezing things up and taking a vacation for the next little while.
It has been 6 months since Janessa's b-day and today marks 6 months until her next b-day, which will officially be 10 years since we said hello and goodbye on the same day.
It also marks 10 years since my pregnancy with her. 10 years since we shared our lives together. 10 years since my life was normal and I was just expecting another baby.
10 years is a long time. It is a decade of memories that were lost and never made. It is a decade of grief that I have survived. It is 10 years closer to being with her again, but, 10 years since I held her and carried her and felt her kick and move and communicate via the womb. I like that the harsh realities of grief have softened, but, I hate that my short memories of her are also getting a little fuzzy.
10 years ago I never thought I would survive this long with out her. 10 years ago my life was very different.
I've begun to feel a freezing of my heart as the 6 months to Janessa's 10 year angel b-day begins. It's almost like the first 6 months after I loss her and I didn't really feel or experience anything--I just felt frozen and numb and just did what was necessary to survive and that is kind of what I feel like now. The 10th year angel b-day just seems too much to handle and deal with so my heart is freezing things up and taking a vacation for the next little while.
2019
2018
2017
2016
2015
2014
2013
Sunday, September 1, 2019
September Angel Birthdays
Happy Angel Birthday
to All Angel Children celebrating
birthdays in the month of September!
YOU ARE LOVED!
YOU ARE MISSED!
YOU ARE REMEMBERED!
Thursday, August 1, 2019
August Angel Birthdays
Happy Angel Birthday
to All Angel Children celebrating
birthdays in the month of August!
YOU ARE LOVED!
YOU ARE MISSED!
YOU ARE REMEMBERED!
Thursday, July 4, 2019
New Members of the Baby Loss Group
As I was reading through my fb feeds a dread overtook me when I read the words on the Duggar Family page "We were so sad to hear that Joy and Austin's baby girl passed away mid-way through their pregnancy." My heart dropped as I realized our baby loss parent group has gained yet another forced membership. Seeing that heartbreaking picture of Joy and Austin instantly took me back to almost 10 years ago when I received the same news about Janessa--so sorry there is no heartbeat your baby is dead. My heart just shattered for them because I know how devastating that is.
There. Are. No. Words. To. Describe. That. Moment!
My heart broke for Joy's sister in law, Lauren, a few months ago when she loss her baby to miscarriage--I've been there too. I was so pleased to see that they named their baby Asa and then when they became pregnant with their rainbow baby they announced her as their 2nd child and they had a white balloon in the picture to represent Asa. Non baby loss people don't get that or understand that or think she needs "help" when all she needs is non judgments and to just be allowed to grieve her baby in a way that feels comfortable and normal to her. I understand that too.
So Joy and Austin and your precious angel baby girl <3 Annabel Elise <3, and Lauren and Josiah and their precious baby <3 Asa <3 and ANYONE else who is new to this page and your Sweet Angel Babies <3, we are sorry that you are being forced to join our Baby Loss parent group. Please know that you are NOT alone. Your are Loved. I'm praying you will find comfort and Peace. Your little Angel Children are
<3 Forever Loved <3, Forever Missed <3 and Forever Remembered <3
|
A Pair of Shoes
|
I
am wearing a pair of shoes.
They
are ugly shoes, uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them,
and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think
I
can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks
wearing these shoes, they are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my
shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am
not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to
wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in
the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Author unknown
Author unknown
Monday, July 1, 2019
July Angel Birthdays
Happy Angel Birthday
to All Angel Children celebrating
birthdays in the month of July!
YOU ARE LOVED!
YOU ARE MISSED!
YOU ARE REMEMBERED!
Saturday, June 1, 2019
June Angel Birthdays
Happy Angel Birthday
to All Angel Children celebrating
birthdays in the month of June!
YOU ARE LOVED!
YOU ARE MISSED!
YOU ARE REMEMBERED!
Friday, May 31, 2019
The Umbrella Lady
I challenged everyone to perform an act of kindness the other day and I got to witness an act of kindness that day that I will never forget.
Most of us did not plan on the major rainstorm that hit downtown an hour before the graduation I was attending. We thought it would rain a little and then go away. Instead it turned into a down pour with thunder and lightning that lasted for hours. We lucked out and were able to walk from the parking lot to the building when the rain was just light so we didn’t get too wet. Others were not so lucky and by the time they got to the building they were drenched and I felt so bad for them. I watched a woman with a large black and white umbrella go rushing out into the storm and cover some people with her umbrella and walk with them back to the doors. I thought at first they must have been family and she was being nice to help cover them. But, then I watched her go out again and again and again rescuing people with her umbrella. She would stand by the door and watch and when she saw someone she would run out to them, sometimes clear down the sidewalk in an effort to help cover them with her umbrella. It couldn’t have been easy because she was in a dress and high heels and it was cold and it was a major cloud burst, but, she continued to do it over and over again without any regard for herself. It may have seemed like such a little and simple thing to do, but, I saw it as a HUGE random act of kindness. She truly was serving Heavenly Father as she lovingly protected his children from the rain with her umbrella. My hope is to one day be like the umbrella lady 
Matt. 25:40 Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
Tuesday, May 7, 2019
Happy 8th Angel Birthday Hope Abigail
Happy 8th Angel Birthday
Hope Abigail!
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
You are Loved!
You are Missed!
You are Remembered!
You are Always in My Heart!
Love, Mommy
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