Another year come and gone and one about to begin. I have dreaded these new year beginnings since Janessa died until this year. Finally, I have no countdowns to what should have been EDD's, no 1st angel b-days to endure, and no more TTC for a rainbow baby. I am finding acceptance in the children I have been blessed with, though there will always be that 5th hole in my heart for a wanted rainbow baby. I am learning to incorporate my grief into my everyday living, and I am able to find a little bit more joy in my daily life and in remembering my angel babies, Janessa, Hope, Jason, and Rae Anne.
I'm still not sure if I am ready to set goals for myself for next year beyond, endure and survive, but maybe I could add begin to live life again.
Maybe my goals and theme for 2016 can be the quote I have on my wall:
CHERISH YESTERDAY,
DREAM OF TOMORROW,
LIVE TODAY!
I'll make 6 predictions and hopes for 2016:
It will be a little hard in May because 2016 is a copycat of 2011 so that means Hope Abigail's 5th Angel Birthday will be on the same day of the week and on mother's day weekend like it was when I miscarried her--NOT excited about that. But, it was also the year that we got to go on our big family vacation through Wyoming and over to South Dakota to see Mount Rushmore, so I hope that in 2016 we get to go on 1 family vacation and some more Day-cations.
I want 2016 to be a better year financially for us--NO more broken appliances or cars, or trips to ER or hospital stays. I want us to be able to save more money, to be able to pay more on our loan, and be able to make more money so we can donate to help others.
I want 2016 to be less stressful and emotional for my whole family. I want there to be more heart to heart talks and friendship among us and more time spending together playing games and watching movies and just having fun. :)
I want to be more physically in shape through exercise and eating right. No more emotional eating! I want to take walks everyday and just enjoy the beauty of the outdoors. I want to have lost at least 16 pounds by the end of next year.
2016 is going to see my first child graduate from college and my 3rd child to graduate from High School. 2016 I will have 3 adult children and 3 teens/preteens and all my living children will be double digits.
And finally, 2016 will be when I have to say goodbye to another child, but, thankfully not to death, marriage, or college, but, to a mission for my church for 2 years. For me, I hope he goes somewhere in the United States--maybe Texas, or North Carolina, or Wisconsin or somewhere where some of my BLM friends live so they can watch out for him. If he goes out of the country then I hope it is either to Canada or England. Having him gone will be tough, but, I get to email and write to him and he gets to make some phone calls and I'll get to start another blog detailing his weekly adventures--I'd give anything to have those same privileges with Janessa, Hope, Jason and Rae Anne in Heaven.
So it looks like 2016 is going to be full of new adventures for our family.
HELLO 2016!
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