Crying in Church--again
9 1/2 years later and it still hurts like crazy to see and hear baby blessings at church, especially little girls. I thought I had finally got a handle on baby blessings, but, since we hit the 6 month mark to Janessa's 10th angel b-day old scabs have been ripped open and begun to hurt again.
I had a major panic attack during the baby blessing, but, managed to stay at church with tears streaming down my face. It's embarrassing and feels a little overwhelming that it still hurts this much.
I should have known something was up this morning because I woke up happy, calm and peaceful and that doesn't happen a lot on Sundays--last time it happened was the last time I fell apart for a baby blessing. It's like Heavenly Father and Janessa send me extra love in the morning to make up for the torturous pain I am about to endure.
Missing you a lot today 
<3 Janessa <3 Wish you were here :`(
Be Still and Know that I am God
Sometimes God
Calms the Storm . . .
Sometimes He let's the Storm rage
and Calms His Child.
Author Unknown
At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel's end-no dawn to break the night's darkness. . .We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face.
-President Thomas S. Monson
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
-Joseph Campbell
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