Since Janessa's 10th angel b-day on March 9th the world has been tossed upside down with this world wide virus. Every day there has been major changes announced and normal regular life is gone. In fact, here in Utah, not only do we have all the craziness of the virus but we had a 5.7 earthquake this week with aftershocks the rest of the day that were almost as bad--it was an extremely scary day!!!
It is kind of eerie because it feels like 10 years ago when Janessa died and my life and my family's life was changed forever. This time the whole world is having to endure all the craziness with us! I'm definitely having days where my PTSD kicks in strong of flashbacks of when Janessa died to just a general feeling of not feeling safe anywhere. It is hard! I'm clinging to any regular familiar thing right now that hasn't changed, like when the mail comes each day, and trying to keep with my familiar routines of when I get up and exercise and meditation. It was weird this morning, but, it was actually calming to see all the garbage cans lined out on the street this morning and to hear the familiar sounds of the garbage truck. I'm definitely ready for all of this to be over with and normal life to come back!
I'm praying and reading scriptures a lot more intently than ever before in my life. I'm having to find peace deep inside me because there is no peace in the world right now. A couple of days ago I took down Janessa's 10 b-day pinwheel display and made a smaller b-day display with my sunflower pinwheels for my Angel Baby Rae Anne's 6th angel b-day coming up this next Monday on the 23rd. I am finding peace just being able to sit outside and feel the warm sun on my face and watch those pinwheels spin in the wind.
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