We are a week earlier doing our annual crazy sock family picture
with Janessa, but, labor day was early this year and I can only do fake flowers
and decorations on holidays at the cemetery until October so we celebrated
Janessa's 1/2 b-day a week early.
I know it sounds crazy to look forward to this weird family
activity each year, but, I do. The cemetery isn't the funnest place to be
around b-days and holidays like Christmas, Valentines Day, Thanksgiving, etc.
so it is usually just Roland and I visiting Janessa on those days. But in
September around labor day when it is still warm outside usually most of my
kids are willing to go up to the cemetery and take a crazy sock picture around
Janessa's grave and then just sit around her grave and talk and laugh for about
a 1/2 hour. It means so much to me to have most of our family together for just
those few moments because then I feel complete and whole and at peace. I'm
always left with a hole and a heart ache at other family activities because
Janessa and her angel siblings are missing. It's so nice to just have 1 time
each year when Janessa is included.
We always take a picture where we are all in a tight circle
around her headstone holding onto each other so we don't fall over as I take
the picture. It just reminds me of her graveside service when we held hands in
a circle around her little coffin and said a family prayer together. It helps
remind me that some day we will all be together again as a family forever and
for just those few moments we have a little bit of Heaven on Earth with us.
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