2 Weeks. . . . . . . . . . .

 Today it is a Tuesday and it is exactly 2 weeks to Janessa's Angel Birthday. I've been debating back and forth when to put up the pinwheel 11 display and where. I wanted to have it up by March 1st and when I looked at the weather forecast, it looked like today was going to be the warmest so I decided today was the day. Now as for the where, that was hard. I've always done Janessa's pinwheel b-day display in my front yard, usually it has less snow, gets more sun, and I can capture the sunrise in the front yard. It's also been a way for me to celebrate Janessa with the neighbors. This year, I feel very vulnerable and judged and scared so I decided to just put it in my backyard just for me. That makes me a little sad that I have to hide Janessa away and that I won't be able to get pictures of the sunrise over the pinwheels. But, I will finally be able to enjoy it because I rarely went into the front yard or looked out the front window. Now it is right outside my bedroom window and that makes me happy.

Thinking about you today Janessa. I hope you can look down from Heaven and see my birthday decorations starting to go up for you. I hope you can come down and run amidst the pinwheels because I would love to feel you close especially at this time of the year. I love you my precious little girl--I wish we were planning out your b-day cake and b-day dinner and where just you and I would do our 1x1 b-day shopping trip. I Miss You! I Remember You! You are Always in my Heart! Love, Mommy <3