Gage's PinWheel

Gage's PinWheel

Amelia Grace's PinWheel

Amelia Grace's PinWheel

PinWheels and Peace

I can't even describe the joy and peace I get everytime I place a pinwheel next to Janessa's Pinwheel.  On Monday I removed the 11 pinwheels that I had been using to mark each of her angel birthdays.  I cried as I pulled each one out remembering how very hard this past year has been.  As I placed another angel pinwheel in her pinwheel garden I was surprised to see that I now have 12 angel pinwheels surrounding her pinwheel.  This has brought me such peace seeing her pinwheel surrounded by other angel pinwheels. 

My intention when I first started this blog was to place the pinwheels out for a day or two and then reuse them for other angel babys.  As I sit out and watch the pinwheels twirl around  I realize I can't remove them.  I don't just see pinwheels, I see each Angel Babys name and I know the story behind them, I see the Mommy of that Angel who is hurting like me and I take great comfort in keeping them all together.  So I guess I will just buy more pinwheels and fill Janessa's Pinwheel garden completely.

HUGS,

:) Shauna (:

JANESSA'S PINWHEEL GARDEN

April 5, 2011



Calvin, Rainbow, & Gaelens PinWheels

Calvin, Rainbow, & Gaelen are all Angel Sibling Babies in Heaven together.

Calvin's PinWheel





Rainbow's PinWheel



Gaelen's PinWheel







Calvin, Rainbow, and Gaelen's Mommy and Daddy have a website called Calvin's Cupcakes where they create beautiful art cupcakes in honor of your angel babys birthday.  This is a link to their site 
http://blessedtobebroken.com/calvinscupcakes/

Amelia Rose's PinWheel

Amelia Rose's PinWheel

Amelia's Mommy creates beautiful works of art using your babys name see her blog by clicking here http://beyondwordsdesigns.com/

Bradyn's PinWheel

River Daniel's PinWheel

River Daniels Mommy is having a fundraiser in honor of his Angel B-day.  The money raised is donated to charitable organizations that help people who have Angel Children.  You can purchase a star that will have your Angel Babies name written on it and it will be displayed at her River's Run and Ride Ralley.  Click here to go to her blog River's Run and Ride Ralley.

Lucas's PinWheel

April 4th

April 4th, is another hard day for me. Last year this was Janessa's due date--it was Easter Sunday. I looked so forward to this date--I had hopes and dreams that were cruelly ripped away from me on March 9th. Last year I naively thought that once this date had passed that my grief journey would end--little did I know that this would be the beginning of my grief journey and just one of the many hard anniversay dates I would pass through.

In honor of this 1 year anniversary of Janessa's due date I created a PinWheel scene just for her. The name Janessa means God's Precious Butterfly. I named Janessa after two Barbie Movies that had a Janessa in them: The Twelve Dancing Princess's (Janessa is one of the triplets) and Thumbelina (Janessa is Thumbelina's friend). I had bought the Janessa figures from each of those movies for her. The little figure I was going to put on her 1st birthday cake. I couldn't even get it out when her angel b-day came around. This was very healing for me to be able to use her toys in a pinwheel scene just for her. The 3 little princess's stand for March which is the 3rd Month. The 7 butterflys are for each of my children--Janessa is my 7th child. The Easter basket is for the hope I had last year and the hope that Easter brings me now.

Janessa

"God's Precious Butterfly"



Janessa from The 12 Dancing Princess's



Janessa from Thumbelina

I keep waiting for this grief journey to end, but, I think I have finally figured out that it is a JOURNEY, with ups and downs, not just a stopping place.  I wish you all  a small moment of "PEACE" as you hit "hard remembrance days" on your grief journey.

HUGS,

:) Shauna (:



SnowWheels from Heaven?!!!!!

I looked out the window and what did I see? . . . . . (it definitely is not popcorn popping on the apricot tree) it is about a foot of snow!

I had an incredibly fun and somewhat difficult time making snowhearts this morning.  Plowing through all that snow that was up to the top of my boots was amazing.  I took pictures when I first made the snowhearts but then I had to run out and take some more because the sun came out and was highlighting the snowhearts like a ray of sunshine from Heaven!

All the pinwheels and my beautiful flowers were covered in snow--so I guess they are now snow flowers and snow pinwheels.  This is like my life right now good days where I am moving and spinning free like my pinwheels and like my beautiful spring flowers and then sad hard days that bring me down and cause me grief like my snow flowers and snow pinwheels right now.  I like to remember when I have days like this that the sun is always shining behind the clouds and someday (soon I hope) all this snow will melt away and I'll have another "spring" day!



BEFORE--Taken Yesterday 4/02



AFTER--Taken Today 4/03



Good Days

&

Hard Days

HOPE =  "Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy cometh in the Morning."  Psalms 30:5

Hugs,

:) Shauna (:

Caden's PinWheel

Caden's PinWheel

Jocelyn's PinWheel

Jocelyn's PinWheel

Declan's PinWheel

Declan's PinWheel

Maxxton's PinWheel

Maxxton's PinWheel



Carter's PinWheel

Carter's PinWheel



Angel PinWheels

It has been an honor to place Angel PinWheels in Janessa's Pinwheel garden today.  I have had a feeling of peace and reverence as I placed them around Janessa's PinWheel.  Thank you for letting me remember your Angel Babies.

Hugs,

:) Shauna (:

Fear Thou not;

for I am with thee:

Be not dismayed;

for I am thy God:

I will strengthen thee;

Yea I will help thee;

Yea, I will uphold thee with the

right hand of my righteousness.

Isaiah 41:10

Hope through Snow Hearts

When I woke up this morning I looked out the window to see snow.   Instead of frowning and getting upset today, I smiled, pulled on my boots and coat and headed out to make some snow hearts.  This has been another way for me to find peace by making giant snow hearts and then putting a large letter J inside for my baby Janessa.  I hope she looks down from Heaven and smiles when she sees another snow heart from her Mommy.  The last couple of times it has snowed I have been making snow hearts for other angel babies with their initials inside and that has brought me pure joy.  Maybe next winter I will set up another blog and do snow heart pictures, but, for now I really just want winter to end and spring to come along with the beautiful spring flowers.  Until that happens though, I will continue to smile at the icky snow and turn it into beautiful snow hearts that I can enjoy!

My Grief Journey--Year 2 of My Life Without Janessa

I'm really excited to finally have a blog up in honor of my angel baby, Janessa.  I have had a hard time since we passed her 1st Angel Birthday.  I guess I expected myself to just be instantly cured and that I wouldn't be sad anymore and I'm disappointed that I am still crying 1 year later.  I've discovered that there is no instant cure for grief.  It is a journey you take 1 day at a time.  I have also discovered that it truly brings me joy to reach out to other Mommy of Angels and that is why I created this blog.  As I place those pinwheels in Janessa's Pinwheel Garden in honor of your angel babies or angel children please know that my heart weeps with yours and I hope that this will give you a small moment

of hope and peace.

HUGS,

Shauna