THE BAD: Snow, Snow, Snow for 5 days straight! Yucky, slippery, scary snow packed roads! Really cold temperatures with the high only getting to 18 degrees. Depressing, ugly, gray smog!
THE GOOD: Neighbor helping us with his snow blower to shovel our driveway. Working with 2 of my younger girls to help shovel our other neighbors driveways.
THE GOOD: Bright blue sky and sunshine for 3 days this weekend with the temperature in the 40's!
THE GOOD: Took my kids sledding for the first time in 3 years--it was fun! When I started to feel sad and guilty for having fun without Janessa and Hope, I just acknowledged those feelings, went and made a giant snow heart and put a J and H in it to include Janessa and Hope in our fun and then I was able to go back and continue to enjoy sledding with my other children.
THE BAD: Eeek, I hope no one saw me squeezing myself into a sled and screaming like a maniac as I went down the hill--that was probably pretty scary looking!! :)
THE BAD: A stranger with a yappy dog who barked and growled at me, while they walked by as I was taking pinwheel pictures outside who just randomly said "My dog doesn't like you." Any other day it wouldn't have bothered me, but, this was after my experience with my counselor and it really hurt my already aching heart. I thought great now dogs hate me too.
THE BAD: The kids in church learning a song that we played at Janessa's Graveside Service. It was torture hearing them sing those words over and over as they learned them and then looking up and one of the visual aids the teacher is using for this song is a picture of a newborn baby--that hurt!! Knowing that I have to deal with this song being sung every week for the next 4 weeks as it sends me on weekly flashbacks to sitting in front of Janessa's pink casket at the cemetery.
THE GOOD: Look what I discovered my daughters church shoes have on the bottom of them--2 butterflies--a definite Hug from Heaven!
THE GOOD: Groundhog day and the prediction for an early spring!
THE GOOD AND BAD: Beautiful pink lilies that are blooming in my kitchen despite the fact that it is winter and it is cold and there is snow outside. They bring me hope and joy. They bring me the spring I desperately need in my heart. The Bad amongst the good--my fingernails have been painted black again even though I keep telling myself I'm not going to do that ever again. I only paint my fingernails black when I feel really upset, angry, and sad which is usually Feb. through May. But the good is that I still put on my dash of glitter fingernail polish to represent that even though I feel empty and awful at times, I still have hope deep down inside me.
No comments:
Post a Comment