Valentines Day

I was so happy to see Janessa and Hope's Valentine boxes overflowing with valentines from their siblings this morning.  Yea it's hard knowing that they aren't here to get them in person, but, I know that they are aware of them from Heaven and it makes me so happy to know that they are not forgotten.  All their Valentines will be put in each of their angel scrapbooks that I have for each one of them.  It brings me a lot of peace to go through those scrapbooks.

We went up to the cemetery to "heart attack" Janessa's grave.  It was NOT a good experience.  They have a lot more snow than we do so we first had to dig out her headstone. Then when we finally found it the top of it was frozen solid with thick ice. In January I had left a pinwheel, a blue teddy bear and a small knit blanket on her headstone. They were all still there but frozen solid to her head stone. I had wanted to replace the blue teddy bear with a pink one, but, I could not free that blue bear from his ice—so he is stuck there until spring comes and unthaws him!!!! I managed to pry up the knit blanket a little bit so I could at least see Janessa’s name on her headstone. We had a really hard time sticking any heart decorations in the ground. I didn’t like being there at all. It was actually really yucky thinking about my baby out there in that cold frozen mess.

I think I am done decorating her grave for valentines day. Last year it was a cold, wet, and muddy mess and this year it was a frozen, snowy mess--YUCK!   I will just go in January, leave a bear and blanket and call it good until her b-day.

 One good thing was I was able to make a giant snow heart over her grave.  I came home and went out into our backyard and decorated Hope and Janessa’s memorial stones with stuff animals and heart confetti and heart decorations and that was a lot more fun because there was no snow or ice on their memorial stones. The sun was shining and it was so nice out there that I just sat out there for about 20 minutes enjoying the sunshine. The nice thing is decorating out there I get to enjoy the decorations and I don’t have to worry about someone stealing their decorations or the cemetery throwing them away. The stuff we left at Janessa’s grave today I don’t care if they throw it away because I’m not going back there until her angel birthday in 3 weeks. I hope all that yucky snow has melted by then or I may just decorate her memorial stone and just take a little  teddy bear and leave it at the cemetery instead of all my other decorations.