PinWheels From Heaven: Broken Record

Welcome To PinWheels From Heaven

WELCOME TO PINWHEELS FROM HEAVEN. If you would like to have your "Angel" baby's or "Angel" child's name added to my Angel Tree list and Birthday list to be remembered at my annual events please click on the Angel Tree List button found at the top of this page to take you to that page with all the details. These events are for Angel Children only--PLEASE NO fake baby loss mommys.

NOTE: Pinwheel Wait List is currently CLOSED

Be sure to scroll to the end of this page to find links to other Baby Loss Mommies who write Angel Babies Names.

ANNUAL EVENTS FOR PINWHEELS FROM HEAVEN:

(1) Once your angel baby/child is on my Angel Birthday List
they will be remembered in their birthday month in a special Angel Birthday blog post and picture. They will also be remembered on their special angel b-day on my PinWheels From Heaven Face book page.

(2) Oct. 15th--Wave of Light: Each year on this date I will be creating a PinWheel Healing Field in my front yard using all the angel baby/child's pinwheels and light candles by the pinwheels in remembrance of all of our angels.

(3) Christmas Angel Tree--For the month of December I will be hanging ornaments with all of your angel baby/children's names written on them on my outside angel tree. On Christmas Eve I will light candles around the Angel Tree in remembrance of all of our angels.

(4) Easter Angel Tree--For Easter I will be hanging plastic Easter eggs with all of the angel baby/children's names written on them on my outside angel tree. I will light candles around the tree on Easter in remembrance of all of our angels.

Pictures of events 1,2,3,4 will be posted here on this blog and on my face book page.

At PinWheels From Heaven Angel Babies and Angel Children are ALWAYS LOVED, MISSED AND REMEMBERED <3

A Precious Gift--Never Forget Janessa & Hope Abigail

The mention of my daughter's name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears. If you really want to show me that you care, let me hear the beautiful music of her name. It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul.

"If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died.

What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift."
-Elizabeth Edwards

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Broken Record

It is almost June 28th again and I am a broken record going around and around always coming back to the start but NEVER finding the end. What is June 28th??? It is the date I repeated over and over and over again to nurses, secretaries, doctors, and ultrasound technicians--what was the 1st day of your last period--June 28th, 2010. It is the beginning of Janessa's story. A story that began with a dream and ended in a nightmare, but, not a nightmare for her just for me. I know that Janessa's spirit is alive and well and she is happy in the arms of her Great Grandparents and Jesus. Her earthly life story is short but her life continues on in Heaven. I believe that and I know that and on some days I am okay with that and I am at peace and happy for her, but, on some days having her story continue over there in Heaven while I am here without her is pure hell for me.

You see my mind and my heart are unable to understand what has happened. They know I got pregnant and that new little life grew and grew inside me for 9 months and then when that happy day of her arrival came there was no new little baby to love and take care of and bring home and watch grow, there was only darkness and emptiness. For 6 years my broken heart and mind have tried unceasingly to make some sense out of there never being a baby at the ending to that pregnancy. Every year I go through the same broken record cycle as I relive these same trigger dates and memories that lead up to March 9th only to end in the same way--NO BABY.

It is an illogical and unacceptable answer to my broken heart and confused mind so they continue to search year after year. It is only my spirit deep inside me that knows the horrible truth she is gone from this earth life and never coming back. Someday we will be reunited and it will be a glorious reunion, but for now I will continue to remember and honor her in the best way I know how and trying to convince my empty and broken heart that it is okay even though it continues to search on and on for her like a broken record.

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Be Still and Know that I am God

Sometimes God
Calms the Storm . . .
Sometimes He let's the Storm rage
and Calms His Child.
Author Unknown

At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel's end-no dawn to break the night's darkness. . .We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face.

-President Thomas S. Monson

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
-Joseph Campbell