Grief Class Week 39

UPDATE:    I actually made the mandala last Wednesday and over the weekend it gently rained and slowly but surely washed it away--a new beginning . . . . . . . .

For Week 39 I chose the topic "Let It Go".  This one is similar to last weeks of forgiveness because it involves letting go of all those hard bitter memories.  It is letting go of my plan for my life and accepting God's plan for my life instead.  It is letting go of all the hopes and dreams of having a rainbow baby.  It is letting go of all those unrealistic expectations to be perfect and never grieve or be angry or jealous or sad again.  Grief is HARD work and it creeps up on you at unexpected moments and I want to let go of feeling guilty or bad that sometimes I just need to feel sad, or angry, or jealous and that is how I will work my way through it.  Letting Go of thinking that Grief is a temporary delay in my life that will go away like a cold or a zit.  Grief is here to stay and I need to accept that and allow it to mesh with my everyday life and be okay with that.

For my project I chose 2 different things.  The first is based from a scripture story found in the Book of Mormon about a group of Lamanites that have repented of their sins and are so determined not to sin again that they bury their weapons of war deep into the ground so they won't be tempted to use them ever again.  https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/24.7-19?lang=eng

So I took an envelope and colored it brown like dirt and made swords that I wrote all the things I want to let go on then one by one placed them into the envelope.

For the 2nd project it connects with Week 38 of Forgiveness as I created a mandala drawing of forgiveness and letting go on paper and then recreated it with chalk on my driveway.  It turned out Awesome.  This will stay on my driveway until the next rainstorm and then figuratively wash away or my way of letting all of those hurts go.

Explanation of my Forgiveness mandala:  First there is a purple heart in the center which represents all the hurts and disappointments and expectations and anger and jealosy and things that I have been holding onto inside me that have made me bitter.  That heart is surrounded by 4 other hearts that are in my angel babies colors that represent their way of surrounding me and helping me.  Next, the hearts are surrounded by big gray/white/green clouds that again symbolize all the hurts.  Coming out from those clouds is bright yellow lighting bolts or the anger and hurt I feel striking out, but, instead of ending in hurting others they are stopped by pink hearts as a way to symbolize love from my savior in helping me turn those feelings around.  There are blue tear drops symbolizing tears of sadness and of joy.  Next are orange/yellow sunbeams coming from the clouds and ending as flowers to represent the sun is always shining behind the darkness and clouds.  The flowers represent that the turmoil and hurt can be replaced with beauty and joy.  And finally there are purple/green/yellow balloons floating off that representing letting all those hurts go.