We've been painting and cleaning and reorganizing a room in my house this past week. I had quite a few “hard moments” sorting through stuff yesterday—I ran into
notebooks full of little planning things I had been doing in 2009 while I was
pregnant with Janessa, I found a copy of the last sacrament meeting talk I gave
on Easter of 2009 on the atonement that was 30 days before my friends husband
was killed in a car accident, and 1 year before Janessa died, I found a couple
of books my obgyn gave me when I was pregnant with Janessa “Guide to
Breastfeeding”(Didn't Need That One!!!!! :`( and “A Guide to your Pregnancy”, one of the hardest things I
found was my planning calendar that I had made for April 2010 for our homeschool
after Janessa was to be born so I could take the month off and the kids would
still have some sort of school structure.
I glanced through the guide to your pregnancy to see if they had anything in there about stillborn babies--nothing! There was only one sentence in the back on warning signs--if you don't feel movement go into your doctor!! I'm like by then its too LATE you morons! I glanced through their chart on when they consider you a high risk pregnancy: Over age 35-Check, Any family members with down syndrome-Check, High Blood Pressure-Check, any unusual births of previous children-Check, Any previous children born dead-Check, any miscarriages-Check. I think I could check most of their questions. Problem is I have been a High Risk Pregnancy from my first baby on, I just didn't know it. I had preeclampsia with my first baby who I delivered by C-Section. From then on I was high risk but was too naïve to know it--I just thought it was normal when you went in to deliver a baby that they made you read and sign all these risk factor papers on delivering a VBAC baby and that everyone automatically got hooked to an IV the minute they walked through the doors. I guess it all just threw it in my face that we are done--no rainbow--8 is enough :`(
I also found a box full of old worn out
baby bibs that I had to just throw away and that was really hard. I'm not sure I like all this painting, cleaning, and organizing. It is wearing me out physically and emotionally!
In Memory of my "Precious Angels" JANESSA, HOPE ABIGAIL, JASON NEPHI & RAE ANNE. A place where Angel Children are Loved, Missed, and Remembered. And a place where Mommies and Daddies of Angel Babies and Angel Children can feel safe and not so alone on this grief journey.
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Janessa's PinWheels
Welcome To PinWheels From Heaven
WELCOME TO PINWHEELS FROM HEAVEN. If you would like to have your "Angel" baby's or "Angel" child's name added to my Angel Tree list and Birthday list to be remembered at my annual events please click on the Angel Tree List button found at the top of this page to take you to that page with all the details. These events are for Angel Children only--PLEASE NO fake baby loss mommys.
ANNUAL EVENTS FOR PINWHEELS FROM HEAVEN:
(1) Once your angel baby/child is on my Angel Birthday List
they will be remembered in their birthday month in a special Angel Birthday blog post and picture. They will also be remembered on their special angel b-day on my PinWheels From Heaven Face book page.
(2) Oct. 15th--Wave of Light: Each year on this date I will be creating a PinWheel Healing Field in my front yard using all the angel baby/child's pinwheels and light candles by the pinwheels in remembrance of all of our angels.
Pictures of events 1,2,3,4 will be posted here on this blog and on my face book page.
At PinWheels From Heaven Angel Babies and Angel Children are ALWAYS LOVED, MISSED AND REMEMBERED <3
NOTE: Pinwheel Wait List is currently CLOSED
Be sure to scroll to the end of this page to find links to other Baby Loss Mommies who write Angel Babies Names.ANNUAL EVENTS FOR PINWHEELS FROM HEAVEN:
(1) Once your angel baby/child is on my Angel Birthday List
they will be remembered in their birthday month in a special Angel Birthday blog post and picture. They will also be remembered on their special angel b-day on my PinWheels From Heaven Face book page.
(2) Oct. 15th--Wave of Light: Each year on this date I will be creating a PinWheel Healing Field in my front yard using all the angel baby/child's pinwheels and light candles by the pinwheels in remembrance of all of our angels.
(3) Christmas Angel Tree--For the month of December I will be hanging ornaments with all of your angel baby/children's names written on them on my outside angel tree. On Christmas Eve I will light candles around the Angel Tree in remembrance of all of our angels.
(4) Easter Angel Tree--For Easter I will be hanging plastic Easter eggs with all of the angel baby/children's names written on them on my outside angel tree. I will light candles around the tree on Easter in remembrance of all of our angels.Pictures of events 1,2,3,4 will be posted here on this blog and on my face book page.
At PinWheels From Heaven Angel Babies and Angel Children are ALWAYS LOVED, MISSED AND REMEMBERED <3
Janessa's 10th Angel Birthday
Hope's 7th Angel Ticker
Jason's 6th Angel B-day Ticker
Rae Anne 6th b-day Ticker
Our Anniversary
A Precious Gift--Never Forget Janessa & Hope Abigail
The mention of my daughter's name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears. If you really want to show me that you care, let me hear the beautiful music of her name. It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul.
"If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died.
What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift."
-Elizabeth Edwards
"If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died.
What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift."
-Elizabeth Edwards
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Be Still and Know that I am God
Sometimes God
Calms the Storm . . .
Sometimes He let's the Storm rage
and Calms His Child.
Author Unknown
At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel's end-no dawn to break the night's darkness. . .We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face.
-President Thomas S. Monson
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
-Joseph Campbell
Calms the Storm . . .
Sometimes He let's the Storm rage
and Calms His Child.
Author Unknown
At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel's end-no dawn to break the night's darkness. . .We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face.
-President Thomas S. Monson
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
-Joseph Campbell
I also threw some baby stuff recently. :( I have so many saved baby clothes from Alanna's big sister thinking that Alanna will be using them. Now I do plan to give them away or throw them. I told myself that once the weather gets warmer that's one thing I'll be doing. :( We have them in our old luggages and stored them in our garage and now that I can go out and do it, I just don't have the energy to go over everything and throw them out. ♥
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