I saw an article on the internet the other day of a 47 year old woman who went to ER because of severe stomach pains thinking she had kidney stones and ended up giving birth to a healthy beautiful baby girl--she had no idea she was pregnant. Those kinds of stores seem unreal to me--how could you not know you are pregnant? But, then as I thought about it I thought about what a blessing that would be especially as a baby loss mommy. You wouldn't ever worry about your baby dying, you wouldn't fear each doctor visit that they wouldn't find a heartbeat or something wrong with your baby. You wouldn't worry each time you ate something or did something that you may have just caused a reaction in your baby that would kill them. You wouldn't debate whether to buy those new clothes or car seat or bassinet because maybe the baby will die before birth again and you will never get to use them. You wouldn't worry when you should tell people or if you should tell your other kids because it would just devastate them again if the baby died. You would just show up one day to a hospital thinking you are really sick and instead you are whisked to labor and delivery and before you know it you are holding your longed for rainbow baby in your arms and you didn't have to go through all the stress to get them here. Maybe ignorance really is bliss.
I guess it just got my mind wandering again thinking well I'm younger than that woman was maybe that could happen to me too and then I would finally get my rainbow baby and finally feel some of that rainbow peace that everyone talks about and have some of the "extreme sting" I feel from loosing Janessa, Hope, Jason, and Rae Anne be taken away. I could finally not feel like such a failure in ending my pregnancy/childbirth years on dead babies. I could let go of some of the bitterness and disappointment and hurt I feel that God has forgotten about me and that I am not worthy of that rainbow healing like everyone else is as they are blessed with rainbow babies. Instead, I am left year after year empty-armed and broken-hearted not understanding why there is no peace or cure for my pain. It is a nice dream, an unexpected rainbow, but, that is all it is an unrealistic dream. :`(
In Memory of my "Precious Angels" JANESSA, HOPE ABIGAIL, JASON NEPHI & RAE ANNE. A place where Angel Children are Loved, Missed, and Remembered. And a place where Mommies and Daddies of Angel Babies and Angel Children can feel safe and not so alone on this grief journey.
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Janessa's PinWheels
Welcome To PinWheels From Heaven
WELCOME TO PINWHEELS FROM HEAVEN. If you would like to have your "Angel" baby's or "Angel" child's name added to my Angel Tree list and Birthday list to be remembered at my annual events please click on the Angel Tree List button found at the top of this page to take you to that page with all the details. These events are for Angel Children only--PLEASE NO fake baby loss mommys.
ANNUAL EVENTS FOR PINWHEELS FROM HEAVEN:
(1) Once your angel baby/child is on my Angel Birthday List
they will be remembered in their birthday month in a special Angel Birthday blog post and picture. They will also be remembered on their special angel b-day on my PinWheels From Heaven Face book page.
(2) Oct. 15th--Wave of Light: Each year on this date I will be creating a PinWheel Healing Field in my front yard using all the angel baby/child's pinwheels and light candles by the pinwheels in remembrance of all of our angels.
Pictures of events 1,2,3,4 will be posted here on this blog and on my face book page.
At PinWheels From Heaven Angel Babies and Angel Children are ALWAYS LOVED, MISSED AND REMEMBERED <3
NOTE: Pinwheel Wait List is currently CLOSED
Be sure to scroll to the end of this page to find links to other Baby Loss Mommies who write Angel Babies Names.ANNUAL EVENTS FOR PINWHEELS FROM HEAVEN:
(1) Once your angel baby/child is on my Angel Birthday List
they will be remembered in their birthday month in a special Angel Birthday blog post and picture. They will also be remembered on their special angel b-day on my PinWheels From Heaven Face book page.
(2) Oct. 15th--Wave of Light: Each year on this date I will be creating a PinWheel Healing Field in my front yard using all the angel baby/child's pinwheels and light candles by the pinwheels in remembrance of all of our angels.
(3) Christmas Angel Tree--For the month of December I will be hanging ornaments with all of your angel baby/children's names written on them on my outside angel tree. On Christmas Eve I will light candles around the Angel Tree in remembrance of all of our angels.
(4) Easter Angel Tree--For Easter I will be hanging plastic Easter eggs with all of the angel baby/children's names written on them on my outside angel tree. I will light candles around the tree on Easter in remembrance of all of our angels.Pictures of events 1,2,3,4 will be posted here on this blog and on my face book page.
At PinWheels From Heaven Angel Babies and Angel Children are ALWAYS LOVED, MISSED AND REMEMBERED <3
Janessa's 10th Angel Birthday
Hope's 7th Angel Ticker
Jason's 6th Angel B-day Ticker
Rae Anne 6th b-day Ticker
Our Anniversary
A Precious Gift--Never Forget Janessa & Hope Abigail
The mention of my daughter's name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears. If you really want to show me that you care, let me hear the beautiful music of her name. It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul.
"If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died.
What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift."
-Elizabeth Edwards
"If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died.
What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift."
-Elizabeth Edwards
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Be Still and Know that I am God
Sometimes God
Calms the Storm . . .
Sometimes He let's the Storm rage
and Calms His Child.
Author Unknown
At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel's end-no dawn to break the night's darkness. . .We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face.
-President Thomas S. Monson
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
-Joseph Campbell
Calms the Storm . . .
Sometimes He let's the Storm rage
and Calms His Child.
Author Unknown
At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel's end-no dawn to break the night's darkness. . .We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face.
-President Thomas S. Monson
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
-Joseph Campbell
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