It is the temple open house for the Provo City Center Utah Temple. This building use to be a tabernacle that was used for public events for over 100 years, then, on Dec. 17th, 2010, it literally burned to the ground. The only things left standing were the outside walls. I have no memories of the tabernacle, I've never been in it, never really even saw it, so why do I feel such a connection to this building? It is because it became ashes in 2010, 8 months after my life became became ashes too. When I see these pictures they literally represent what happened to me on March 9th, 2010, when Janessa died inside me and my world as I knew it crumbled. All that was left of the tabernacle was the outside walls and that is how I felt the first 4 years after I loss Janessa, and then Hope, and then Jason, and finally, Rae Anne. Each time I crumbled inside and felt like just a shell of a person trying to move and function in life with nothing inside me but emptiness.
My church decided instead of rebuilding the tabernacle to be the same as before, they were going to rebuild it into something better and for it to serve an even better purpose, that, of a Temple. They took some of the designs from the past, but, added new things for its new purpose. That is so symbolic to me. It gives me hope that the shell and ashes of my life are for a new purpose, and that God is shaping me into something better too. I see some of the good things from my past being added to the new things grief has taught me and shaped in me being combined to form a new Shauna, a better Shauna, a more compassionate Shauna. A Shauna who knows it is okay to grieve, but, can still find moments of joy and hope. A Shauna who can Cherish the memories of yesterday, Hope and dream of tomorrow, but, is content to Live Today to its fullest.
The Open House starts this Friday, but, I don't actually have tickets to go see it until later in Feb. This temple has given me something to look forward to as the hard weeks leading up to Janessa's angel birthday approach. I don't think it is any "good fortune" or "luck" that this temple's open house is right now and that it will be dedicated in March the hardest month of the year for me. For me this is a tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father who knows how hard losing my babies has been for me and how torn up and hurt I am and how sometimes just getting through the day is a major feat for me. This is His way of providing me some much needed rainbow healing, comfort, and encouragement to hang in there and have hope and trust in Him that He can turn my life into something more beautiful and more grand than just the ashes of grief.
These are some articles from the local paper that have pictures and video of the inside and outside of this beautiful temple.
Provo City Center Temple Pictures
Video-of-the-LDS-Provo-City-Center-Temple
Article on the Provo City Center Temple
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