Sudden Changes=Anxiety

I always have a really hard time at the beginning of the new year, especially with church.  The first Sunday of the month our church time changes and classes all change.  One of my ptsd triggers is sudden unexpected changes because that is what Janessa's death was to me, a sudden, unexpected change and all of my miscarriages ended up being sudden, unexpected changes so when I get thrown into unexpected changes all my trigger alarms go off and anxiety hits full force.  I've tried to prepare myself this last week in order to get ready for these changes, but, I'm never ready for it.  Especially this year because we haven't even got our new class lists or manuals yet for tomorrow and that is stressing me out big time.  All these unknowns!!!  Worry for my youngest living daughter because she will be moving up into a different primary class.  The stabbing pain and hurt walking past the rooms with their class lists posted seeing Janessa's primary class and knowing that her name will NOT be on that list. Worry about room changes for us and a new group of kids and not knowing what their learning styles are and how to best teach them.  Worry about another baby blessing that probably will be happening tomorrow.  6 years out, and I still can't stand to sit through baby blessings--it hurts too much.  I don't think those will ever get any easier for me.  My ptsd is working overtime because I'm already panicking and having anxiety about things that won't happen until tomorrow.  I don't know how I'm going to survive tomorrow.