Remembering My Angel Babies through Acts of Kindness

It is amazing the different ways that we find to help us cope with our grief and to survive each day and each unwanted "anniversary".  I literally dreaded the 9th-15th of each month last year because I relived each horrible day of Janessa's passing.  I also cried for my baby that was 3, 4, 5, 6, etc., months old and what she should be doing and saying and all that I was missing out on.  One of the ways I found hope was through placing a monthly pinwheel out to represent how many months she had been in heaven.  Another thing I started doing around my birthday last year was Monthly Random Acts of Kindness.

Last year on my birthday and every month on the 9th-15th I longed for people to remember me and Janessa and acknowledge that she existed.  I learned very quickly that most people express sympathy in the beginning and then after a month they move on with their lives and expect you to move on also and you are literally forgotten.  I knew I had a choice to make, I could sit at home and be angry and depressed that no one remembered or cared anymore, or I could put into action the "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  So on my birthday last year I picked about 10 people who I thought could use a little pick me up treat and bought bags of hershey kisses and hugs that I put in a smiley face bag attached with a ribbon and card that just said "Just wanted you to know your being thought of today."  It brought me such joy on my birthday last year that I decided every month on my "hard, unwanted anniversary days" that I would pick a couple of people to do acts of kindness for.  Some months I did the smiley face candy bags, other months I would send a card or an email.  It was an incredible feeling to reach out to others in my grief and it helped me to focus on some of the good things that happened and good people that were placed on my grief journey to help me instead of all the "bad and sad" memories.

As I approach a "hard memory" date of 1 month since my miscarriage next week on the 7th, I wanted to do something similar for my Angel Baby Hope in remembrance of her.  My grief for her is different than it was for Janessa.  For Hope I grieve for all the lost weeks of pregnancy that I will never get.  So, I have bought mini pinwheels for each week that I would have been in my pregnancy that I will place around a memorial garden I have for Hope, so that when I reach what would have been my due date on Dec. 3 there will be 40 mini pinwheels.  I also want to do Random Acts of Kindness in remembrance of her, so, on my other blog, http://kindnessitmatters.blogspot.com/, I am starting "My Weekly Kindness Challenge".  Every Monday I will list the Kindness Challenge on my blog and I want to encourage everyone to try and participate by trying to accomplish it by the next Monday.  Feel free to leave comments on what you did, because I would love to hear about it.  This again will last for 40 weeks, in honor of my loss pregnancy weeks that I will never get with Hope.

I'm really excited about this, because the 40th week of the Kindness Challenge will be the week of Janessa's 2nd Angel Birthday.  On that same day I will start the 10 week Kindness Challenge  in honor of the 10 precious weeks I carried Hope and that will end on her 1st Angel B-day.

I'm going to be starting  my Weekly Kindness Challenge next Monday June 6th in honor and remembrance of my Precious Angel, Hope Abigail, who I miscarried on May 7th.  If you would like to participate, or just follow what happens, visit my other blog:

http://kindnessitmatters.blogspot.com/

Hugs,

:`)  Shauna  :`{

:)  Janessa & Hope's Mommy  :)