I am NOT a "camper", but, I have been so stressed out with real life that I agreed to go camping just so I could get away for a while. I've discovered that no matter how far away I try to get from "real life" and no matter how much I pretend that I am a "normal" person my grief and sorrow always find me.
I don't like being outside with the bugs and sleeping on the ground in a tent. I don't like doing my "mommy count" to make sure that all 6 kids are still around and never feeling satisfied with that number because in my heart I know there are 2 kids missing. I don't like waking up at 1 a.m. and not being able to sleep so my mind begins to wander and I start remembering Janessa and Hope's pregnancy's and births. I don't like tossing and turning as tears silently slip down my face as I hug my angel bears hoping somehow to drift off to sleep.
But, admist all the grief, sorrow, and just plain misery of camping, I am grateful I can still feel peace and joy.
Joy in having a glow in the dark fingernail party in the tent with my youngest girls!
Joy in hearing my teenagers in their own tent laughing and keeping each other up!
Joy in seeing a beautiful river with a waterfall!
Joy in seeing the clouds drift by and watching the trees sway in the wind!
Joy in seeing the millions of stars come out at night!
Joy in sitting around the fire roasting pink marshmellos and having a contest to create the best smore!
Joy in feeling my Angel Babies close even though they are in Heaven!
Hugs,
:`) Shauna :`(
:) Janessa & Hope's Mommy :)
No comments:
Post a Comment