Remembering . . . .

Last year  at this time we were on our vacation to Mount Rushmore--it seems like only yesterday, but, also seems like a long time ago.

I realized as I was looking through my posts that I forgot to write a post about one of the places we visited called Martin's Cove in Wyoming.  To read more about Martins Cove click HERE.  This place had a real impact on my life.  This was one of the places that when I was planning our trip and I was pregnant with Hope, I didn't think I would really get to experience because of the pregnancy, but, after my miscarriage, I was "safe" to walk the almost 2 mile trek to the Cove.  It was a humbling experience. 

When you get to Martins Cove these are 2 of the signs that you see:

I thought it was really interesting that they called it a Trail of Hope and not a Trail of Tears or Sadness.  You get to pull a handcart and experience a little over a mile of what these pioneers went through.  As I helped my family push and pull the handcart I had a small backpack on my back with my angel bears inside and this written on a note:  I'm pulling this handcart today in honor and remembrance of Steven and the family he left behind.  Also in remembrance of all BLM's whose hearts are breaking because of their angel babies and all they have taught me.  Lastly in honor and remembrance of my 2 angel babies Janessa & Hope and the steps they will never take.  This is  for the Grief Journey I have walked this past year and will continue to walk the rest of my life.

 After 5 minutes of pulling that handcart we came to an abrupt halt because a rattle snake crossed our path 5 ft in front of us--YUCK!  My younger kids jumped into the cart after that so our load got a lot heavier and that made pulling that cart even harder. We only had to pull the cart for a mile and then we parked it and walked the next mile into the cove. I was so grateful to park that handcart--I don't know how those pioneer women pulled those things mile after mile, day after day. I had had enough after only 1 hour! The Cove was so peaceful and calm and quiet--I felt a great sense of reverence there and I felt very close to Janessa and Hope as I sat and pondered there. I had tears streaming down my face as we walked out of the cove.

Here are some of my impressions and thoughts of things I learned from pulling that Hand Cart:

(1) It is too hard to pull by yourself. It was much easier having my family helping to pull and push that handcart and encouraging me when I was ready to give up. I guess like in life sometimes the grief is too hard to deal with alone and you need family and friends to help you along.

(2) Sometimes there really are Heavenly and Earthly Angels helping to push your "hand cart". There really was a difference between just pulling and not having anyone pushing. We could hardly move the cart pulling alone, but when there was people pushing you hardly felt the weight and it almost was like the cart was moving itself.

(3) Sometimes you have different jubs--sometimes you pull, sometimes you push and sometimes you ride in the cart or walk along side. Each job is important and is a different experience that you learn from at different stages in your life.

(4) It was very overwhelming to look at the end of the trail and how far I still had to go. It was much easier to just look at my feet and focus on where I was at and just occasionally look up to make sure I was still headed in the right direction. To me this represents the importance of just living day to day because sometimes focusing too far into the future is depressing and overwhelming!

(5) There was a real difference with the wind in the Cove and out of it--there wasn't hardly any wind in the Cove it really was protected. To me this represented that Heavenly Father gives us safe places to just find a little peace and relief from our storms.

(6) There were a lot more people who lived and survived the martin handcart experience than died. Almost 80% of the people lived and I didn't know that. As I thought about it it would have been easier and a relief to have died than to have lived through it. I can't even imagine the effects that experience had on those people spiritually, emotionally, and physically, but they kept going--kept trusting--kept having faith--kept moving forward--kept believing. That is very inspiring to me.

Going to Martins Cove completely wore me out physically, but, emotionally and spiritually it was a power boost to me.  I am remembering today that experience and it brings me hope and peace all over again.

Hugs,

:`) Shauna :`)

:)Janessa & Hope's Mommy:)