This past weekend has been full of grief triggers for me. I fell apart when I saw a car seat sitting in our garage collecting spider webs that Janessa should be using. I've had a hard time as we have been repainting our living room because we were finishing our basement so we could move my son into a room downstairs so his room could be Janessa's and painting his new room when I was pregnant with Janessa. The color we chose for our living room this year ending up being a similar color to what we were using when we painted his room. And to top it all off, today at church a family with a new baby came and plopped their infant carrier right in front of me--that really hurt. I had to remind myself that they didn't know what happened to me. I moved my family further down the row so the baby was out of my view--I'm sure they thought I was really rude and mean--when really I was just trying to protect my heart. I really hope some day that it won't hurt so much to see babies and that I will be able to smile and be happy for the person instead of crying and being angry.
My Hug From Heaven today--When we started to repaint we accidently broke our middle blind and haven't had a chance to replace it yet. I have butterly clings on my window and when I went into our front room all these butterflies were reflected on my floor and the pinwheels were making rainbows all over my walls--it was so beautiful! A definitely needed Hug from little Angel Girls!
wow.. amazing. butterflies and rainbow ♥♥♥
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