Remembering Janessa on the day we said our last Goodbye March 15, 2010

Today marks 3 years since Janessa's Graveside Service.  I still remember falling apart when we got to the cemetery as our mortician, Shaina, took us to the hearse where Janessa's little pink casket was.  I remember feeling such shock at seeing how little that casket was and knowing that my baby was inside.  Shaina, reassured me that she had dressed Janessa in her burial outfit and wrapped her in her warm fuzzy white blanket and rocked her and kissed her goodbye from me and that all the little toys and pictures we had made for her were with her inside that casket.  I remember how hard it was to watch my husband carry that little casket by himself to her grave and me gripping Shaina's arm and hand for support as we followed behind.  I remember that through the service and the music we played that I had my youngest living child on my lap and my husband had another one of our children on his lap and how comforting that was as I invisioned my husbands deceased Grandparents who Janessa was being buried next to seated there with us with us holding Janessa on their lap.

I remember it was cold, but, I remember feeling warm despite the cold and I remember the complete peace I felt--it was incredible.  I remember when it was time to go that our whole family surrounded Janessa's coffin in a circle as we held hands and said one last family prayer with her.  I remember my last goodbye to Janessa was to kiss my hand and place it on her pink fuzzy casket and whisper goodbye and that I loved her.

Missing You Today Janessa :`\

 

 

When Tesha posted her picture of her angel Jonathan that Beth (Custom Digital Remembrance Art For Babies Gone Too Soon)  had made for her and I saw how beautiful it was, I knew I wanted to get one made for Janessa.  It is perfect and so beautiful.  Thank you Beth for giving me a way to have a little bit of Janessa back <3