I regret not holding or seeing Janessa at the mortuary. I regret I wasn't the one who dressed her in her beautiful burial gown, I regret I didn't kiss her one last time and that it wasn't me who put her in her coffin. But, at least I have pictures of her in the hospital and I have memories of holding her and seeing her at the hospital and I have pictures of the burial gown and the items we had the mortician put in the coffin with her.
Sometimes it is really hard remembering and regretting on these hard days, but, I'm trying to find relief by looking at the things that I do have this year. I'll hand all those regrets over to Heavenly Father and let him help me remember, relive, and find relief instead.
Hugs,
:`) Shauna :`(
:)Janessa & Hope's Mommy:)
Prayers and hugs for you today!
ReplyDeleteI think no matter how much we do there will always be those regrets. I remember my husband thinking I was insane for wanting someone to take pictures at the funeral, but he let me anyways, and I am so glad he didn't talk me out of it. I wish I had more too though.
ReplyDeleteOh Shauna, I know these regrets all too well. We have just a handful of pictures of setting up the visitation. We have none after River died. I had no one to tell me to take some. I wish also that I had a picture of the things we laid him to rest with. I vaguely remember some of them. I do not have a photo of his coffin or anything from his funeral. I am lucky to have so many pictures before he died, but I think we always wish for more. Lots of love, dear friend.
ReplyDeleteShauna, I know that feeling too. I have regrets about a lot of things, but when I think about how the shock kind of took over in the days following Sunrise's death, I can't really beat myself up too much for it. We all do the best we can under difficult circumstances. Sending love your way. xo
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