What is it like to not cringe in fear when you go out and see babies?
What is it like to not have the most valuable thing in your purse be kleenexes?
What is it like to not fear a certain day on the calendar every month?
I know I was "normal" a lot longer than I have "not been normal", but, I can't remember how my life felt before March 9th. It is almost as if my life just began after that date. I know that I will never regain my "normal" life ever again, and that is part of my grief.
My friend told me that with grief you obtain a "new normal". It may seem strange to those on the outside of the grief path, but, to those of us on the grief journey our "new normal" life is what we strive to find peace with.
I tried to be normal for this past month and switched my mismatched, neon shoelaces to normal matching ones, and I hated it. It just didn't feel right, I felt like I was trying to forget about my angel babies, so, this weekend I ripped out the "normal" shoelaces and replaced them with my "new normal" mismatched neon laces.
Sometimes though, I just miss being "normal".
Hugs,
:`) Shauna :`(
:)Janessa & Hope's Mommy:)
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