Today is my day of black to represent the deep hurt that occurred this day 5 years ago from some very unkind words written to me from someone who has never walked in my shoes. Today I grieve for friendships lost of people who I thought were true friends but chose to walk away and abandon me when I needed them the most because they couldn't handle my grief. I grieve for all the insensitive things said to me, for all the actions of treating me like I was a leper with a horrible disease, and for all those who chose to say nothing and remained silent and pretended Janessa did not exist at all--these things all added to and made my grief much more worse than it needed to be.
Today with my black of despair, anger, and hurt, I also wear a bright glittery butterfly of HOPE. Yes I was hurt and I was angry but, I now have knowledge as to who my true friends are and I cherish them even more. I know what it is like to be treated like dirt and I know that I never want anyone else to ever feel like that so I try very hard to show love and care to other baby loss mommies.
So to those whose words and actions have hurt and stung me you may have caused me to stumble and left a scar on my heart, but, you have empowered me and made me stronger--you did NOT win because I choose HOPE and LOVE over hate and revenge.
It is weird how those hurtful words can corkscrew themselves into your heart and be so hard to forget. Yes, we can forgive but it's so hard to forget. I can remember some things that have been said to me over the years and some of them were many years ago. Like you say, we can move on & not let them win. Thinking of you with love & prayers.
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